We have a platform? No way!...and other follies from week four of the 2015 election -- A Left Chapter round-up

This is the fourth installment of our weekly election round-up of the inane, bizarre, humorous and unusually facile in the great show that is mainstream bourgeois politics in the EPIC election of 2015.

1) We have a platform? And you read it?

Elizabeth May and the Greens, it seems, were somehow unaware that they had a platform with a number of rather misogynist parts in it related to domestic violence and divorce! When they found out "Julian Morelli, the party’s communications director, said he’s thankful the problems were brought to light. "It’s fair to say those specific areas are under review, big time,”"

Good to hear. But next time you folks might want to read your platform BEFORE putting it out there.

Because that is just one of those things that parties generally do.

2) Members? We have no members. Prove it.

What happens when you have a membership that is under the illusion that its leaders care what it thinks and that has, you know, gone through the motions of passing dozens of resolutions democratically at these funny things they hold called conventions, and that were then all bundled together into something called the NDP's policy book that was then put up on the party's website but that may have stuff in it that might not be what you want people to see because all you want them to see is what the Great Leader decides will be the ONLY THINGS ANYONE IS SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT come election time?

Well you simply make those polices disappear. See how easy that is?

No policy book...no problem.

There never was a policy book, was there Winston? 

3) When I become Prime Minister there will be no more mice! 


Vote for the cat everyone:

A new candidate is sticking his whiskers into the political ring, with the hope of becoming Canada’s next prime minister.
Earl Grey, the leader of the Tuxedo Party of Canada, is a cat, but that’s not stopping him from running for office.

This might interfere with Tommy Douglas' Mouseland however!

4) You are kidding right?

So if you are a Liberal cynic and hypocrite, who do you haul out of the crypt to promote your newly minted anti-austerity platform? Paul Martin of course!

You know...the same guy who ushered in the austerity era itself as Finance Minister.

Makes sense to me.

5) He came to me as a vision...a vision that appeared in my Earth Origins Organic Spread.

Ok...so look...I know this is not Canadian politics. But it is DONALD TRUMP appearing as a vision in Missouri in someone's Earth Origins Organic Spread, people! Enough said.

Thus ends our fourth look at the Grand Farce. See you next week!

Got any suggestions for next week's round-up...send them to theleftchapter@outlook.com or post them to our Facebook page! 

See also: Lying pieces of shit and other follies from week three of the 2015 election -- A Left Chapter round-up

See also: Near, far, wherever you are, the Canadian economy does go on...and other follies from week two of the 2015 election -- A Left Chapter round-up