1) I am just the vice-chair of the school board...that doesn't mean I have the faintest clue about anything
We have all by now heard about this one...and, of course, despite thinking the election could not possibly have a low moment that could surpass the video footage of a Conservative candidate pissing in someone's coffee mug, it has.
First penis jokes about a death camp...and then the claim that she had never heard of the best known symbol of 20th century evil and the Holocaust. Either this is the dumbest lie of all time or it is just staggeringly, mindbogglingly dumb.
What to say? How did she manage to get a degree in anything while being ignorant enough to have never heard of Auschwitz? How can she, given this, be part of running a school board?
And, frankly, given that they have dismissed candidates for far, far, far less, why is she still running for the NDP at all? Guess it is, as always, who you know.
2) No...it was not a total lie...it was a "mistake"!
So....Laureen Harper and some other Conservative tool decide to hold a press conference saying that if re-elected the Conservatives will throw a whole bunch of matching funds at the Terry Fox Foundation...and that the foundation and Fox family are all "enthusiastic" about it!
Except that that was a total...ummm..."mistake".
Turns out the family and foundation was rather the opposite of "enthusiastic", knew nothing about it and wanted no part of it.
Perhaps the Conservatives were simply aiming at irony...you know, the irony of attempting to make a charity's work political after going after charities for years for being remotely political.
3) I just wanted to prove I was there goddammit!
What do you do if you really, truly, desperately want to use a photo of yourself at an event but the sign in the background inconveniently has some other candidate's name on it?
Well...you just change the photo! You know, like Stalin would!
4) Some morning bullshit on the Bow River
Ok...technically this is from week seven...but the Liberals, in their infinite wisdom, sent it out to their email list in week eight in case, you know, you had missed it. Which I had.
Thanks for sending it folks...because it is both hilarious and nausea inducing.
5) It is all your fault for recording me.
This guy! This guy opposes gay marriage. This guy opposes abortion rights. This guy said so on the phone a few days ago. This guy said he would try to make Tom Mulcair think this way too. Because this guy is an NDP candidate!
And this guy remains an NDP candidate!
Thus ends our eighth look at the Grand Farce. See you next week!
Got any suggestions for next week's round-up...send them to firstname.lastname@example.org or post them to our Facebook page!
See also: Somebody's watching you and other follies from week seven of the 2015 election -- A Left Chapter round-up
See also: The wheels come off the bus and other follies of week six of the 2015 election -- A Left Chapter round-up